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Here are some common words and phrases that many people use to fill space while speaking. See if you recognize any of them in your own speech:
"um" and "uh" "You know what I mean?" and "You know?" "and stuff" "anyway" "like" "and" (or another conjunction used to string sentences together)
An alternative to this habit is the adoption of a unique phrase or word. For example, on a recent trip to the computer store, the gentleman working with me said, "BAM!" every time he showed me something on the computer. He would type in an instruction, hit "return" and say "BAM!" When he printed something off for me, he said "BAM! There it is." It was cute but none-the-less distracting.
One of the worse cases I've seen of someone using word fillers was seeing a colleague include fillers in writing! It was almost like his fillers were a part of his thinking process!
Using any of the above fillers in conversation or while giving a speech is distracting and makes listening very difficult. Why? For one thing, the natural flow of speech is interrupted and the speech sounds disjointed. This causes the listener to be distracted making it more difficult to follow the story line.
Secondly, word fillers tend not to add value or meaning to the topic. Even "you know what I mean?" is meaningless if used too often and if the speaker doesn't actually wait for a response. Again, it distracts the listener from the speaker's message.
Fillers like the ones mentioned above aren't just distracting. They diminish our presence as professionals. Think of a polished speaker who you know. Does he/she have word fillers in speech? Recently, as we watched the Olympics it seemed that a lot of these young athletes were especially articulate and did not use any word fillers.
Consider how you feel when you experience a person talking with word fillers. Do you get annoyed? Or feel impatient? Do you listen to the message or do you tune him/her out?
To figure out if you use fillers and just how often, ask a partner whom you trust to listen to you while you speak for a minute. Talk about yourself or your business. Ask your partner to count the number and type of fillers that you use in one minute. Another technique is to record yourself speaking on the telephone and then listen to the recording and count instances of "ums" or other fillers in your speech. This is a humbling experience if you discover you are a "word filler expert" and didn't realize it!
Once you have awareness of your speech, pick a time during the day that you can work on eliminating this behavior. An excellent place to start to making changes to your speech is while you speak on the telephone. Again, tape record your end of the conversation and listen to yourself after the call, you will be able to monitor changes even better. Set goals with the number of word fillers you feel would be acceptable. A few "ums" aren't distracting but a lot of them are. Work towards using none or 1-2 in a minute.
Like anything else, developing new behaviours takes time, patience and practice. But having polished speech is advantageous and well worth the time it takes to have it!
